April 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm (drugs) (, )

a needle in a vein and i am floating away
a black balloon and an overcast sky
and i never want to die

detatched thoughts come out and play
the same ones i’ve had before
my good old friends

rhymes without structure
and lines with no end
the deep dark emereld of a forest

the trees bend in the storm
i slip away into the wind
fading in and out

cling to the feeling
every second closer to leaving
and i’ll be back here again

on the cold hard ground
reality harsh and bright
i’ll never be found


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eight forty five

April 12, 2010 at 8:58 pm (drugs, poetry) (, )

the bitter taste of a warm embrace
tumbles down your throat

and black
blink of your eyelids
the world opens in flame

red surface of another planet
reeling head says two and two make three
kaleidoscope wreck

scratch, scratch
scratch the termites at your door

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everyone i know goes away in the end

April 10, 2010 at 5:39 pm (drugs, hair) (, , )

I’m on the last of my Percs for now. I’ve taken three of them since I woke up at one. I have eight left, and because I will abuse them if they are within my reach, Jim is going to hide them so that we’ll have them for later. I really hope I can get a refill. If not, I will be trying the poppy seeds from By the Pound soon (although I don’t really like the idea of that method, as it’s unreliable), or ordering from the Philippines.

My hair doesn’t look so bad– I kind of like it. I’m going to bleach it again though, in about a week, once it’s recovered. I don’t know if I like the picture to the right– I couldn’t decide which one to put here, but it’s going to be that one, because there’s cleavage in it and I can’t post anything slutty to my Facebook. No one knows about this blog so I will post however much cleavage I want to the depths of the internet. Fuck you, certain family members and friends.

Also, I should probably note that I failed to stick to the resolution I made when I started writing this yesterday. I popped another perc this morning (and last evening) because it really fucking hurts. I wanted to use them with J, because it’s so awesome to be as close as it lets us, but I suppose I will just find some elsewhere.

I finished working on the Solio Productions website like Ari asked me to weeks ago. I really need to get organized, because while I could have done that sooner, I didn’t. It’s like if I’m even slightly busy with other things, it’s impossible for me to get stuff done. He said he’d pay me $50 though, which I’m really glad for, because yeah, I need it. I start working at Colonial Lanes on Monday, and am slightly freaked out about it. I don’t want to have to work while I’m recovering, but without the money, we’re going to be fucked. This should keep us going until I can get back to PJ’s. I still can’t believe I passed that drug test.

Things I hope to do this week: read a book other than the one Jodi Picoult novel I managed to finish, edit my Ohio documentary, apply to better jobs, write a poem/draw/other creative endeavor, finish my hair.

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