April 16, 2010 at 12:48 am (doctors, hair) (, )

So I just pulled a clump of hair and lint out of buttgyna (the friendly nickname I’ve given my pilonidal cyst’s large sinus and her six lovely sisters). This was painful and utterly terrifying, as it was the first time I’ve ever pulled anything out of the scary little black pit of doom back there. I am not looking forward to getting it removed, as this will probably mean another long recovery, and while it’s not really detrimental to my every day life, I. Want. It. Out. There’s still a hair sticking out of there, too. I was too afraid to pull on it anymore, partially out of the unrealistic fear that this would unravel the whole thing and somehow I’d end up pulling out the contents of the cyst through the sinus. Yeah, this really is TMI.

Making the TMI stuff blend with the background, because yeah, that’s probably more than you needed to know. Highlight it at your own risk. Appointment to get that shit taken care of is in about a month, so hopefully it’ll go well and away. I don’t seem to have updated about my appointment on Monday (the drug test fail sort of distracted me, apparently), but it went okay. I got a refill. I got the Steri-Strips removed. I have a big gash on my bikini line and all the area surrounding it is numb.

I think I’m going to bleach my hair more tomorrow. There was a brief spike in guys hitting on me (hello, forty year old at the library), but that seems to have diminished and I feel like the hair’s just ugly now. I’m just kind of cranky because I’ve been in withdrawal all day, am not looking forward to dealing with the rest of my medical problems, am tired, etc. Also am in fear that new $15/hr month-long job opportunity that both J and I might be embarking on next week will drug test and then we’ll have lost the chance to make $4,000. Will find out this weekend.

I need to fetch myself a scrip for Ativan. I’m pretty sure it would help immensely.


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everyone i know goes away in the end

April 10, 2010 at 5:39 pm (drugs, hair) (, , )

I’m on the last of my Percs for now. I’ve taken three of them since I woke up at one. I have eight left, and because I will abuse them if they are within my reach, Jim is going to hide them so that we’ll have them for later. I really hope I can get a refill. If not, I will be trying the poppy seeds from By the Pound soon (although I don’t really like the idea of that method, as it’s unreliable), or ordering from the Philippines.

My hair doesn’t look so bad– I kind of like it. I’m going to bleach it again though, in about a week, once it’s recovered. I don’t know if I like the picture to the right– I couldn’t decide which one to put here, but it’s going to be that one, because there’s cleavage in it and I can’t post anything slutty to my Facebook. No one knows about this blog so I will post however much cleavage I want to the depths of the internet. Fuck you, certain family members and friends.

Also, I should probably note that I failed to stick to the resolution I made when I started writing this yesterday. I popped another perc this morning (and last evening) because it really fucking hurts. I wanted to use them with J, because it’s so awesome to be as close as it lets us, but I suppose I will just find some elsewhere.

I finished working on the Solio Productions website like Ari asked me to weeks ago. I really need to get organized, because while I could have done that sooner, I didn’t. It’s like if I’m even slightly busy with other things, it’s impossible for me to get stuff done. He said he’d pay me $50 though, which I’m really glad for, because yeah, I need it. I start working at Colonial Lanes on Monday, and am slightly freaked out about it. I don’t want to have to work while I’m recovering, but without the money, we’re going to be fucked. This should keep us going until I can get back to PJ’s. I still can’t believe I passed that drug test.

Things I hope to do this week: read a book other than the one Jodi Picoult novel I managed to finish, edit my Ohio documentary, apply to better jobs, write a poem/draw/other creative endeavor, finish my hair.

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Jodi Picoult is a bitch

April 9, 2010 at 3:33 am (hair) (, )

I’m in the process of turning myself blonde in order to dye my hair purple and become unemployable. I’m terrified. I peeked under the Meijer bag I have wrapped around my head, and as always, it looks like it’s turning out blotchy. Why can I never dye my hair without it becoming blotchy? I blame my mother, as she was the reason I didn’t go to a proper hair salon (not even a shitty hair cutting place, for that matter) until well into my teens. I’m not super into salons at all, but I definitely could have used a more flattering haircut. She also hovered nearby with a disapproving glare whenever I deigned to experiment with my hair, peppering the experience with “that’s enough!” or, “you’re putting too much on!” Manic Panic was not her thing, and such timid usage of brightly colored dyes yielded unsatisfactory results.

I figured it’d turn out better without her over my shoulder, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to. Old dye jobs and not enough bleach have led to me looking like someone dumped a bucket of paint over my head. So yeah. Sigh.

I think I’m going to go wash it out now and pop a few more percocets.

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