Jodi Picoult is a bitch

April 9, 2010 at 3:33 am (hair) (, )

I’m in the process of turning myself blonde in order to dye my hair purple and become unemployable. I’m terrified. I peeked under the Meijer bag I have wrapped around my head, and as always, it looks like it’s turning out blotchy. Why can I never dye my hair without it becoming blotchy? I blame my mother, as she was the reason I didn’t go to a proper hair salon (not even a shitty hair cutting place, for that matter) until well into my teens. I’m not super into salons at all, but I definitely could have used a more flattering haircut. She also hovered nearby with a disapproving glare whenever I deigned to experiment with my hair, peppering the experience with “that’s enough!” or, “you’re putting too much on!” Manic Panic was not her thing, and such timid usage of brightly colored dyes yielded unsatisfactory results.

I figured it’d turn out better without her over my shoulder, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to. Old dye jobs and not enough bleach have led to me looking like someone dumped a bucket of paint over my head. So yeah. Sigh.

I think I’m going to go wash it out now and pop a few more percocets.


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